This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
