She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I can't put those talents on a resume
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
