you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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