shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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