but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
