Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
