my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
