She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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