i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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