Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
