Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
