i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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