My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
