mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
