I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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