i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
