batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
If I die, sorry about rent.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
