I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
