He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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