I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
home. puking in laundry basket.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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