The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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