so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
