I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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