i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
