one might say we're banned from that church
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Sorry my hands just texted you
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
