I just saw a hot homeless man
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
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