Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
