You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
