If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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