You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
