Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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