my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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