I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i would punch a child for taco bell
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
as a side note pls kill me
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
