we're blogging at a bar
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
