Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
