Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
