Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
