She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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