he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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