Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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