Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
