I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
