I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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