she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
