An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm always down for nudity.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
