You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
