I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
