iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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