Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
