I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
