What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
