That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
