i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I love you.
Bad choice
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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